It’s that time of the year again. You can’t walk into any drugstore, grocery store, or gas station without being bombarded with roses, kissy faces, and yet another reminder that YOU’RE SINGLE BUTTERCUP. However, this year, I don’t feel particularly scornful about Valentines Day. I’ve skimmed through Instagram, administered my obligatory, “You and your partner are cute AF” likes, and jealousy/self-resentment are two emotions that I’ve remarkably managed to avoid. That’s a drastic difference to this time last year, when I should have been rejoicing in my time abroad but instead was left thinking about a boy across the pond who I undoubtedly wasted too much time caught up on. Fast forward one year and I may not be basking in the beautiful Barcelona sunshine but I can confidently say that I have never felt so comfortable and capably in my singularity. Those things that I would always say I would do someday (i.e. this blog, yoga, and sleeping more), I’ve finally managed to commit to and prioritize, things that, for me, would have been challenging to see the value in had I been immersed in another person. Although, in the past, I have looked at my singularity with narrowed eyes, I can finally say that the time and space that I keep within my agency through being single have helped me to work within myself to identify things that bring me sustainable and autonomous happiness. So, on this day of St. Valentine, I commit myself to a day free of pessimism and shame and to instead, take this day as an excuse for self-care and indulgence.
1.) Wake up late
On Tuesday and Thursdays, my first class starts at 10:50am, so I always head to the gym around 7am to get in a good workout before the loud grunts of the 4 o’clock lifters take over. However, this morning, I had a blasting headache and sleep hangover from the weekend, so I stayed in bed until 9:30 (power moves!). While this decision was probably more of an effect of the headache, it felt good to give myself a bit more time on my own without the added stress of checking emails and finishing homework.
2.) Put on your best digs
“Ug” to all those people who wear pink and red hues on Valentines day…except…wait, that’s me today. This morning, I ventured to my closet with warm tones in mind and reached for my wine red, turtleneck dress and paired it with a cute denim vest. True, I look like my mother dressed me but guess what, I feel like a real live cupid and I’m about it. I think I wore all black last year…
3.) Indulge yourself
I woke up with a deep yearning for love…HA jk, pancakes. Even though I made the coconut oil too hot in the pan and ended up charring the little buggers a bit, it was still such a delicious breakfast and started the morning on a good note. However, indulgence can also come in the form of taking a bath, buying that “Nasty Woman” sweatshirt you’ve been eyeing, wearing lipstick, or sitting on your living room floor with peanut butter in one hand and a jar of frosting in the other (the Dough Boy will be everyone’s forever and unconditional lover). Whatever makes your day a little out of the ordinary and genuinely uplifts you; that’s indulgence and heck, you deserve it today and everyday.
4.) Show some appreciation to your Rides N’ Dies
Last night, I decked the halls with little bags of makeup goodies for my roommates. While it was just a small gesture, I liked adding a little spice to an ordinary Monday night and giving them a gift to remind them that as my house wifeys, they are some of the most cherished people in my life. I feel so grateful for their company and for all the lessons they have taught and continue to teach me. They accept me in my mismatched pjs, help me to keep my sarcasm at an appropriate level, and always want to leave the bars before midnight. They are my live-in companions and without them, life would lack a lot of luster.
5.) Remember why your Ex’s are your Ex’s
If you are missing/thinking about/about to text your ex, take a moment (that’s all they deserve) to think about why they’ve been put into the past tense. For me, it’s a mixed of #overbearing, #entitled, #youcantsayiloveyouonthefirstdatedude. That’s really all I need at this point to validate their lack of relevance in my life but maybe its different for you. These things always and will forever take time but putting conscious effort into finding the downfalls of your past relationships creates space you to better understand what you need from a person and what you probably can do without.
6.) Be content in your singularity
Even a few months ago, I probably would have scoffed at this point but being confident on your own and embracing the benefits that come with not being obligated to another person (i.e. your bank account is totally for you and the only other person you have to answer to is your mother) really do make all the difference. Writing down thoughts, both good and bad, is an exercise I’ve found helps to untangle my inner emotional workings and bring greater clarity to where I stand (in my kick ass new Chelsea boots that I bought because I didn’t have to buy anyone a gift for Vday).